A little sister of mine says she is struggling with the lack of closure on my blog. This is my attempt to appease her but I anticipate failure. Why? Because I don't have a whole lot of closure to offer these days. I don't think we often get clear beginnings and ends, doors open or shut. You find yourself at one point on a path with no real awareness of when you even started walking. You only realize you were right where you needed to be after you are well past the point you planned to stop.
Closure is a ridiculous thing to seek. Sorry Dori. But I don't know where I am going. I don't even fully know where I have been. I know that in the past year I have grown and changed and learned in ways I didn't even know I needed to or possibly could. I know current me laughs at past me and would love to pat her on the head and tell her to shut up and wait. To just chill out and let God's purposes be fulfilled in their own time. I also know that future me is going to say the same to present me. I am not done. This chapter is not closed. I am a work in progress, but I can tell you the work is good. Africa changed me. The changes are dramatic and they have freed me in ways I struggle to articulate. I have enjoyed being present. Don't dwell on what isn't; don't agonize over what you can't change. Don't worry about what may be or fear what is to come. When you have those moments of clarity, get up and do something about it. When you know what you need or want, go after it like there is no tomorrow. Live the best life you can, today. Not in 10 years. Because life gives us no closure and so we had best live it with some urgency and intention. And we don't have to fear a thing, nor do we have to run from pain. We can just keep singing and loving and hoping.
Guys, life is overwhelmingly good. Like a deep belly laugh without end. And I can't wait to see what God is going to continue to bring about in my life. From where I sit, it is looking to be a great story of His incredibly deep and personal love for me. And his ridiculous sense of humor and lack of regard for my reasonings and "yea but"s
Who am I?
Who knows. But I am quite enjoying the discovery.
Is this closure? You'd better believe I am not finished.
Closure is a ridiculous thing to seek. Sorry Dori. But I don't know where I am going. I don't even fully know where I have been. I know that in the past year I have grown and changed and learned in ways I didn't even know I needed to or possibly could. I know current me laughs at past me and would love to pat her on the head and tell her to shut up and wait. To just chill out and let God's purposes be fulfilled in their own time. I also know that future me is going to say the same to present me. I am not done. This chapter is not closed. I am a work in progress, but I can tell you the work is good. Africa changed me. The changes are dramatic and they have freed me in ways I struggle to articulate. I have enjoyed being present. Don't dwell on what isn't; don't agonize over what you can't change. Don't worry about what may be or fear what is to come. When you have those moments of clarity, get up and do something about it. When you know what you need or want, go after it like there is no tomorrow. Live the best life you can, today. Not in 10 years. Because life gives us no closure and so we had best live it with some urgency and intention. And we don't have to fear a thing, nor do we have to run from pain. We can just keep singing and loving and hoping.
Guys, life is overwhelmingly good. Like a deep belly laugh without end. And I can't wait to see what God is going to continue to bring about in my life. From where I sit, it is looking to be a great story of His incredibly deep and personal love for me. And his ridiculous sense of humor and lack of regard for my reasonings and "yea but"s
Who am I?
Who knows. But I am quite enjoying the discovery.
Is this closure? You'd better believe I am not finished.