I spend months agonizing over making a decision. I make myself sick. I over-think every single fathomable alternative, make endless pros and cons lists in my mind, and try to imagine the response of every single person I know to my choices. How to simultaneously glorify God, be responsible, maximize my own satisfaction and minimize the perceived disappointment of hundreds of people and their conflicting opinions about the way I should live my life has kept me up more nights than I care to recount.
Most recently, I had to commit to a decision about whether or not to go home for Thanksgiving. More specifically, to go home for Allison's wedding.
I literally spent months going back and forth on the point. It was miserable. I put it from my mind as often as possible.
My decision deadline was Saturday. A wise friend said "If it was just up to you, and nobody in the world would judge your decision, what would you do?"
The answer, without hesitation, was "I WANT TO BE THERE! Allison is getting MARRIED! This only happens once for a girl like her!"
And just like that, my decision was made.
All of those months of agony were stupid, because I am just refusing to feel bad. I feel so excited I could squeal. In fact, I have done just that, many times.
Most recently, I had to commit to a decision about whether or not to go home for Thanksgiving. More specifically, to go home for Allison's wedding.
I literally spent months going back and forth on the point. It was miserable. I put it from my mind as often as possible.
My decision deadline was Saturday. A wise friend said "If it was just up to you, and nobody in the world would judge your decision, what would you do?"
The answer, without hesitation, was "I WANT TO BE THERE! Allison is getting MARRIED! This only happens once for a girl like her!"
And just like that, my decision was made.
All of those months of agony were stupid, because I am just refusing to feel bad. I feel so excited I could squeal. In fact, I have done just that, many times.
Judge me all you want, but I've even made a count down. I get to flip a number every day like a little kid counting down to Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love being here. I am in no rush to get home! I just love the excitement, and if I'm taking the long trip back to Blacksburg, I might as well enjoy the anticipation to the very fullest! Also, how awesome is my Hokie bird hat? My mom gave it to me for Christmas. I sometimes regret bringing him and leaving ALL my hoodies, but then he makes me smile and I forgive myself. Anyways, I flip a number, and there is a motivational/encouraging little quotation. It makes me happy.
It doesn't hurt that it also serves as a little bit of motivation to a very slack Miss Amy who is going to have to fit into a bridesmaid dress the Saturday after Thanksgiving. And you'd best believe I will be gaining at least 5 pounds between when my plane hits the ground and they roll me out of Macados on Wednesday night. That fails to even take into account Thanksgiving, and the pre-Christmas cookies I am going to force my sisters to make for me. I might be doomed. So dieting is a go. I was feeling a bit of the "Oh no, please, not this again" thing, so I stole a pinterest idea from my lovely cousin Katie and have these ruh-DIC-ulous jars to chart my progress. Laugh all you want. I am above all judging these days, simply out of exuberance about getting to see Allison get hitched. And getting to binge drink Diet Coke...
While I was busy taking pictures of my completely-lame-yet-way-too-cool-to-not-show-you-all crafts, I figured now is as good a time as any to impress you with my living quarters. The impression you get is up to you. I didn't clean because I hate cleaning, and the cleaning lady comes tomorrow so it would adversely impact the job creation that I am working SO HARD toward! (yet, not hard enough to be able to throw my "changed my mind" food all over the grocery store or litter, as is customary in this great nation)
I blocked the bathroom door on purpose. I love sleeping in corners.
I blocked the bathroom door on purpose. I love sleeping in corners.
Then looking the other way... You can see my point of ingress/egress. Through my kitchen. You'll be so impressed when you see what I use to cook. But first you must suffer through the bathroom AND my commentary on that sofa. It has GOT to go. It is hard as rock and superduperugly and currently serves no purpose other than to hold my bags of trash until Nozi comes and takes them out tomorrow. :) My landlady said that she will put it somewhere else since I am refusing to show it any love whatsoever.
My computer resides on the outside of my bed, since I always take the corner spot.
My computer resides on the outside of my bed, since I always take the corner spot.
Welcome to my bathroom. It is completely open to my bedroom. Which explains why I will not be having anyone over to spend the night. Ever. I'd show you the other side, but it's just a shower head coming out of a wall. Really not worth the 4 minutes it takes for me to upload each picture. Seriously. The internet here is painful. Or my picture quality is just too awesome. You decide.
I keep nothing in here because Tendai's favorite activity is to come into my room and "wash hands". I found her holding my razor far too many times, so instead of a heart attack I just hide everything in my drawers. I can wait for kids. Maybe forever.
I keep nothing in here because Tendai's favorite activity is to come into my room and "wash hands". I found her holding my razor far too many times, so instead of a heart attack I just hide everything in my drawers. I can wait for kids. Maybe forever.
Heeeeey kitchen! For the past week, I have enjoyed this little micro-kitchen. Before that, it was an empty room and I enjoyed yogurt, cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, and a lot of cookies in the comfort of my own bedroom. I'd be lying if I said I don't miss those days. But with a mini kitchen come certain responsibilities, such as eating chicken and vegetables and enjoying far fewer trips to the petrol station for emergency dinners of Cadbury chocolate.
You know how it goes. To whom much is given...
You know how it goes. To whom much is given...
I even have some storage space, and then the door. The door that leads to the strangest, longest, darkest path between house and fence to another locked gate that then leads me to the driveway, that ultimately leads me to the BIG gate. If I can get out of that, I call it a win.
It's harder to get in than out, but I imagine tons of people die in house fires here when they panic and can't find their keys. I need 3 to get out of the immediate vicinity of the house, 4 to get far enough away to not be really uncomfortable.
Speaking of which, where DID I put my keys?
It's harder to get in than out, but I imagine tons of people die in house fires here when they panic and can't find their keys. I need 3 to get out of the immediate vicinity of the house, 4 to get far enough away to not be really uncomfortable.
Speaking of which, where DID I put my keys?
I hope you are all happy and warm. I'd love to hear how life is on your end.
Until then, I am going to enjoy this cup of hot coffee and get some sleep so that I can attempt to teach computer skills tomorrow. Maybe my headache will give up its seemingly eternal reign. Even if it doesn't, tomorrow (like all Wednesdays) is Amy Wednesday at my favorite house in Mowbray. I'm teaching Yanga and Olwethu how to make an apple pie, grandma style.
What about my diet, you say? Let's hope that tomorrow's motivational quotation is really impressive. :)
Until then, I am going to enjoy this cup of hot coffee and get some sleep so that I can attempt to teach computer skills tomorrow. Maybe my headache will give up its seemingly eternal reign. Even if it doesn't, tomorrow (like all Wednesdays) is Amy Wednesday at my favorite house in Mowbray. I'm teaching Yanga and Olwethu how to make an apple pie, grandma style.
What about my diet, you say? Let's hope that tomorrow's motivational quotation is really impressive. :)