Blogging 3 days in a row? I deserve a reward. Well, that or for someone to change my password and save the world from my thoughts.
Today my thoughts are really depressing, so don't read this if you are about to go to a party or if you are crying in bed right now or if you are trying to entertain a 3 year old. Because if you are anything like me, this post will make it hard for you to smile until you distract yourself. I hope you have better luck with that than I have.
I would like to think that the worst day of my life was pretty bad. Scratch that. It WAS pretty bad. It was a nightmare. The top 5 worst days of my life were all pretty bad. If I were to tell you the story of them, which I likely could do in great detail, you'd probably want to give me a hug after each one.
But other than 5 days, I'd be hard pressed to come up with much else that merits sympathy even that leaves me sad upon recollection. Out of the 9,124 days that I have been alive (thanks google), I have had 5 memorably bad days.
Today I was introduced to a woman who makes my 5 bad days feel like maybe a stretch. This woman is a christian, first of all, but she is severely depressed. And she cannot afford medication. She can't even afford food! Until today, the last time she ate was on Saturday.
Now, if I didn't have enough money for food I would probably be depressed too. But she doesn't seem to even notice her hunger. Just a tiny bit of back story, she has been raped by 8 different men over the past 20 years. EIGHT. Some were relatives, some were strangers. And the first time was when she was just 8. That was when her parents died and she went to live with her uncle.
We all talk about how God is our protector and our provider, but here is a woman who does not LOOK very protected or provided for. She talks about the next time she'll get raped as a "when", not an "if". My heart is breaking.
But she considers herself blessed. She recently found out that she tested negative for HIV, which is nothing short of a miracle in this county. She has also never gotten pregnant, even after repeated opportunity.
God IS protecting her. It's not the way I would tell God to protect me, but it is clear that God is preserving her. For what? Who knows. Please pray for healing in her heart. She'll be joining the next course that we teach, and I am a little overwhelmed just thinking about how I can offer her love and compassion without coming off as just pitying her. But right now I think I DO pity her. Maybe pray for me as well. And pray that God will protect her from men and help her to see the value that her horrific experiences with men has caused her to forget that she has.
I am so aware that I have been SO blessed, but I hope that even if a year from now my story is as tragic as hers, I will still be able to choose to praise God. I also really hope that doesn't get tested...
Today my thoughts are really depressing, so don't read this if you are about to go to a party or if you are crying in bed right now or if you are trying to entertain a 3 year old. Because if you are anything like me, this post will make it hard for you to smile until you distract yourself. I hope you have better luck with that than I have.
I would like to think that the worst day of my life was pretty bad. Scratch that. It WAS pretty bad. It was a nightmare. The top 5 worst days of my life were all pretty bad. If I were to tell you the story of them, which I likely could do in great detail, you'd probably want to give me a hug after each one.
But other than 5 days, I'd be hard pressed to come up with much else that merits sympathy even that leaves me sad upon recollection. Out of the 9,124 days that I have been alive (thanks google), I have had 5 memorably bad days.
Today I was introduced to a woman who makes my 5 bad days feel like maybe a stretch. This woman is a christian, first of all, but she is severely depressed. And she cannot afford medication. She can't even afford food! Until today, the last time she ate was on Saturday.
Now, if I didn't have enough money for food I would probably be depressed too. But she doesn't seem to even notice her hunger. Just a tiny bit of back story, she has been raped by 8 different men over the past 20 years. EIGHT. Some were relatives, some were strangers. And the first time was when she was just 8. That was when her parents died and she went to live with her uncle.
We all talk about how God is our protector and our provider, but here is a woman who does not LOOK very protected or provided for. She talks about the next time she'll get raped as a "when", not an "if". My heart is breaking.
But she considers herself blessed. She recently found out that she tested negative for HIV, which is nothing short of a miracle in this county. She has also never gotten pregnant, even after repeated opportunity.
God IS protecting her. It's not the way I would tell God to protect me, but it is clear that God is preserving her. For what? Who knows. Please pray for healing in her heart. She'll be joining the next course that we teach, and I am a little overwhelmed just thinking about how I can offer her love and compassion without coming off as just pitying her. But right now I think I DO pity her. Maybe pray for me as well. And pray that God will protect her from men and help her to see the value that her horrific experiences with men has caused her to forget that she has.
I am so aware that I have been SO blessed, but I hope that even if a year from now my story is as tragic as hers, I will still be able to choose to praise God. I also really hope that doesn't get tested...