Today is an "Amy bares all" kind of day. In honor of my 25th birthday, I am going to tell you about the first guy that I thought I loved.
Not my first crush. I had so many of those growing up. I wasn't very nice to them. In 3rd grade, I felt my world collapsing when Aaron Rudd uttered those fateful words "I'm moving to Massanutten". I don't know what I thought a crush was since I had spent most of 3rd grade sneaking to the cubbies and stealing his candy out of his lunch box...
Yes, I had a problem. That's not what I'm talking about today. I'm talking about my first love.
It happened in 7th grade. I just couldn't stop noticing him, although I don't know if he even knew I existed until 9th grade. But I noticed everything about him. He was gentle. He was wicked smart. He didn't care about being cool. He was nice to everyone. He was shy! His smile warmed my heart, and I daydreamed about it being directed toward me.
And he was the older brother of one of my best friends.
When we had sleepovers at her house, I would almost burst with anxiety. You never knew when you'd catch a glimpse! Ahhhh. Then my friendship imploded and it became a forbidden romance. We could be like Romeo and Juliet - rival families brought together by one all consuming love.
(That didn't happen).
Some of you may by now realize that I'm talking about a Schumann. I'd like to take a quick break to say that friendship implosion was due to nothing other than my own insecurity and need for attention. All of the attention. Of everyone. And I'm sorry that I have crushed so many people with that ugly part of me. I am particularly sorry about that one.
Now back to the love. I remember the first time Chris Schumann spoke to me. I was in 9th grade. We went to MGA (Model General Assembly). He was a SENIOR. When we'd be walking and he was in the group I couldn't breathe. And then there was a dance. He didn't want to dance. Neither did I! The two of us and two other people (who I honestly cannot recall for the life of me) went and sat in the lobby of the Marriott in Richmond, VA. We chatted about what he was planning to do for college. He told me what he got on his SAT. AND he told me that the word amuse really means the absence of thought. So when you say "that's amusing" you are really saying "that rids my head of all thought". I couldn't get enough of this guy!
And that was the last time we ever spoke, but it was also when I decided that I needed to be an engineer. Thanks, Chris, thanks a lot. 9th grade girls are so silly. Just think! If I had noticed someone else, say...Caleb Williams, maybe I'd be a super fit supermodel! No, instead I'm a nerd.
So, I had everyone in the school convinced that I was in love with Austin Phillips. And I didn't mind him (in fact, in pretending I'm pretty sure I ended up with a crush), but he was a huge cover for the fact that I was enamored with a college guy. *sigh* I'd ask his brother how his family was doing in hopes of gleaning a little bit of info about how Chris was doing. I'd randomly see him at his sibling's sporting events and I'd still swoon.
Somehow, over the years, I've learned how to let him go, but I don't know if you ever really get over your first love. Love? Fine, obsessive crush. I am still a little sad that he doesn't have a facebook account. Or maybe he was on to me and did the smart thing and blocked this creep. :)
And there you have it. Proof that I started out with great taste in men.
Not my first crush. I had so many of those growing up. I wasn't very nice to them. In 3rd grade, I felt my world collapsing when Aaron Rudd uttered those fateful words "I'm moving to Massanutten". I don't know what I thought a crush was since I had spent most of 3rd grade sneaking to the cubbies and stealing his candy out of his lunch box...
Yes, I had a problem. That's not what I'm talking about today. I'm talking about my first love.
It happened in 7th grade. I just couldn't stop noticing him, although I don't know if he even knew I existed until 9th grade. But I noticed everything about him. He was gentle. He was wicked smart. He didn't care about being cool. He was nice to everyone. He was shy! His smile warmed my heart, and I daydreamed about it being directed toward me.
And he was the older brother of one of my best friends.
When we had sleepovers at her house, I would almost burst with anxiety. You never knew when you'd catch a glimpse! Ahhhh. Then my friendship imploded and it became a forbidden romance. We could be like Romeo and Juliet - rival families brought together by one all consuming love.
(That didn't happen).
Some of you may by now realize that I'm talking about a Schumann. I'd like to take a quick break to say that friendship implosion was due to nothing other than my own insecurity and need for attention. All of the attention. Of everyone. And I'm sorry that I have crushed so many people with that ugly part of me. I am particularly sorry about that one.
Now back to the love. I remember the first time Chris Schumann spoke to me. I was in 9th grade. We went to MGA (Model General Assembly). He was a SENIOR. When we'd be walking and he was in the group I couldn't breathe. And then there was a dance. He didn't want to dance. Neither did I! The two of us and two other people (who I honestly cannot recall for the life of me) went and sat in the lobby of the Marriott in Richmond, VA. We chatted about what he was planning to do for college. He told me what he got on his SAT. AND he told me that the word amuse really means the absence of thought. So when you say "that's amusing" you are really saying "that rids my head of all thought". I couldn't get enough of this guy!
And that was the last time we ever spoke, but it was also when I decided that I needed to be an engineer. Thanks, Chris, thanks a lot. 9th grade girls are so silly. Just think! If I had noticed someone else, say...Caleb Williams, maybe I'd be a super fit supermodel! No, instead I'm a nerd.
So, I had everyone in the school convinced that I was in love with Austin Phillips. And I didn't mind him (in fact, in pretending I'm pretty sure I ended up with a crush), but he was a huge cover for the fact that I was enamored with a college guy. *sigh* I'd ask his brother how his family was doing in hopes of gleaning a little bit of info about how Chris was doing. I'd randomly see him at his sibling's sporting events and I'd still swoon.
Somehow, over the years, I've learned how to let him go, but I don't know if you ever really get over your first love. Love? Fine, obsessive crush. I am still a little sad that he doesn't have a facebook account. Or maybe he was on to me and did the smart thing and blocked this creep. :)
And there you have it. Proof that I started out with great taste in men.