Moving to Africa is not an easy thing; as much as Cape Town may seem like a developed city, it is just not quite "normal". So here is some advice, from one who has "successfully" adjusted, to help you to prepare for your transition. I like lists, so that's what you'll get. :) It's long and not even close to exhaustive. :)
1. It would be impossible for you to bring too many single-serve creamers with you, assuming you are a coffee person (which you will be within a month of getting here). While there are some passable coffee alternatives, there are no options for additives. First world problems, I know, but if I moved today I would pay for an extra bag and it would contain nothing but hazelnut creamer.
2. Driving is comical/borderline traumatic. Africans do not look before veering out into the road. I have hit two people (one was on purpose, and I am not proud). The drive to work is a particularly harrowing experience. Expect trucks to be going in reverse, people to be using a lane to push a cart full of wood, people walking across the road everywhere, cars passing other cars in your lane, trucks stopped across the entire road, dogs, dropped crates of fruit....all within 15 seconds of each other. It is an adventure. And as much as it seems like a video game (do you avoid the man blocking the right lane with a cart of fruit or the truck passing another truck coming at you head on?), this is real life. And it is happening at 100 km/hr. Getting to work adrenaline free is a rare treat. :)
3. Don't bring dollars (unless you want to give it to me). You get a horrible exchange rate. Just withdraw rand at an atm. Any atm. You'll be fine. You can also use your debit card just about everywhere. Make sure your bank knows you are moving to Africa. Tell them several times. Mine didn't seem to get it the first time, and that is stressful.
4. You will feel like an awkward middle school girl as you attempt to adapt your morning routines. You won't have your go-to products, and some days you will look like a hot mess. It's okay. Very few people here have nice hair. And you'll get it in no time.
5. You will look and feel completely inept when the time comes to buy cleaning products. It is amazing how much we rely on brand recognition. And how hard it is to find something you want to use to clean a tub.
6. I cannot stress this enough - the Resource Centre will test your patience beyond your wildest imagination. Why?
- Nobody cares to use your name. It is a fight to hear anything besides "mlungu" and "miss". It starts to trigger violent impulses.
- You are expected to respond to snapping. SNAPPING. Like you have nothing better to do...
- You will get asked repeatedly to dictate e-mails to potential employers, and you will get death glares when you instead give guidance. Death glares.
- It never gets easier to tell someone, "If you don't know how to answer that question, you should not bother applying for this job". Or "Yes, I could get hired for that. But you aren't me, and so you'll have to answer it with your own broken English. Sorry."
- The first time you have to tell someone to re-read the qualifications for a job when you see the "fluency in spanish required" in bold at the top, you'll giggle to yourself. The 40th time? You'll struggle to not think mean thoughts. But you can do it.
- This conversation will happen. All. The. Time:
You: "Double click on your name"
Them: *click* *looks at you like "didn't work, idiot, you fix it."*
You: "DOUBLE click"
Them: *click* *still didn't work, just do it for me already*
You: "Click it TWICE"
Them: *sloooooooow, deliberate click* *loud, audible sigh*
You: "TWO times"
Them: *death glare and aggressive head nod toward mouse*
You: *try not to scream and show them for the 1000th time*
- As painful as it gets, do not do things for them. Show them, and then make them do it for themselves. And yes, it will get painful.
- You will end up being a better mother. I think.
7. DOOM kills roaches, but not instantly. I recommend leaving the bathroom light on at night.
8. Pity. Too much pity and not enough resources can lead you to frustration or to seeing "the poor" as a class rather than a collection of individuals. Fight it. It will be hard, but always look them in the eye. Always have that awkward conversation. And always see the PERSON behind the begging hands.
9. You will have days where you can't do anything but go home and cry. You will also have days where you feel like there is something wrong with you since you aren't crying. Both are normal, and both are okay. Feel what you feel, and be who you are. God doesn't show all of us the same things, and God doesn't move all of us the same way.
10. Adjusting is exhausting. Your mind will be going a mile a minute. Don't be too hard on yourself when you find yourself judging all of South Africa, or all of America (both will probably happen from time to time). Just try to keep your mouth shut and figure out how God wants to change YOU.
11. Sticker shock never really goes away, nor does it get any easier to quickly divide by 8.5-8.9 or whatever. :)
12. The first time you write "realise" without realizing it is really unsettling.
13. You will crave the most random American things. Don't feel stupid telling people what you want. You'd be surprised how many South Africans know of a special little shop, or how many Americans would LOVE to send you a package if only they knew what you wanted.
14. Tim is busy. If you need something, just ask him. He really does care, and he is never too busy for you or your concerns. (or your dead battery, or your exploding washing machine hose, or your locked out-ness)
15. Leslie knows everything and is phased by nothing. No lie.
16. Everyone hates America. The sooner you can just get over that, the better.
17. Culturally, defending yourself is a waste of time. Swallow your pride, say "okay" or "I'm sorry", and move on. They already have.
18-A. Say goodbye to personal space and privacy. I just got back from Mokone where I think 30 children were simultaneously touching/pushing/pulling/shouting at me. It was stressful and ridiculously overwhelming. No personal space.
18-B. Do NOT say goodbye to healthy boundaries. Fight for them. Don't feel like you are not allowed to say no.
19. First you will be overwhelmed. Then you'll want to fix everything. Then you'll be overwhelmed again. South Africa is visibly broken. Prayer is your best friend.
20. You will hear story after story of women raped and murdered, of children shot, of education failures, of government corruption, of muggings, of robberies, of hijackings, of riots, of shack fires... This place is heart breaking. Read the stories. Love the people. Do not be anxious. Do not expect this to never touch you. Learn to trust God through these things.
21. You might feel guilty spending money on things you don't "need". Things like mascara, or a diet coke, or a gym membership. You might find yourself getting bitter about spending 10 rand on bread for the beggar outside the door when you just spent 150 on meat and cheese and fruits and vegetables for yourself, and then hating yourself for ever having food. There's a strange relationship between you and money that is hard to ignore and hard to get right. Don't forget that everything is God's. Don't forget that you can't save the world. Be faithful in the things you KNOW, and the rest will eventually become more clear.
I could go on all day. I really could. The struggles I've had, the challenges I've faced, the days that have defeated me, the victories I've attained...they've all taught me lessons that I wish I could pass on to you. But the thing is, you'll have to have your own. You'll learn the some of the same things in different ways. Some will suck. Some will be a joy. You'll learn different things too. God will work in you in ways that I never gave him the chance to work in me. I hope you'll be able to teach me through YOUR experiences.
But if you get nothing else through this, know that you are not alone (even though some days it will feel like you absolutely are). Some days will be hard, and you'll feel stupid and weak for having such a hard time when people around you CLEARLY have it worse. Heck, the worst day of my life is average here. That's hard to swallow. Just take it one day at a time, and be kind to yourself. Don't allow lies to take root. Make time for you and God, and protect it.
And for goodness sake, enjoy yourself. You'll be living in Cape Town. It's a gorgeous place full of gorgeous people and unlimited adventure. And you're only young once. :)
Love,
Amy
P.S. - I can't wait to see you!